Help your kids celebrate your ex on Mother's Day

Staff Writer
Baystateparent Magazine

A mother’s job does not change after separation or divorce (though it may become even more hectic), and celebrating Mother’s Day shouldn’t change, either.

After divorce, the roles of husband and wife may end, but the roles of Mom and Dad should never go away. In their roles as co-parents, dads need to respect their children’s relationship with their mothers.

Even if it’s a handwritten card or your child’s best effort to use crayons, the key is taking the high road and emphasizing to children that their Mom needs to know that she’s loved and appreciated for all that she does.

Here are some other tips and reminders for celebrating Mother’s Day after divorce:

• Plan ahead for Mother’s Day (it’s May 10, by the way). Try to make sure your children get to spend some time with their mom, even if it’s not “her” time on the parenting schedule. Be flexible (and moms should be flexible when it comes to Father’s Day, too). Remember: This isn’t your time. It’s about your children spending time with important people in their lives.

• Help them make or buy a card or gift, or make special plans for their time with their mom. Remind children that Mother’s Day isn’t just about cards and gifts, it’s also about celebrating — and creating — special memories.

While it’s most important to have children spend time with their mom, it’s also important to show consideration to grandmothers on Mother’s Day — including your former mother-in-law. She is still the children’s grandmother.

• If you or your former spouse has a new partner, follow your children’s lead as to whether they want to do something for and/or include them in a Mother’s Day celebration.

• These tips also apply to moms when it comes to helping children celebrate Father’s Day. After all, while divorce may end your relationship with your former spouse, it should never impact your children’s relationship with mom or dad.

Article by Irwin M. Pollack