SHOULD YOU SEND SIBLINGS to the Same Camp? BY donna morin miller Planville mom Debbie Rhines plans to send each of her sons to his own camp program. Pictured are Jeremy Rhines 8, Ian 6 and Reid 4 Maybe it's the research that shows an organized summer camp experience has positive effects on the self-esteem of children, or maybe it's your own fond memories of summer camp, whatever the reason, you've decided to send your children to summer camp this year. But should you send them together or should each child be allowed her own camp experience? Experts agree there are pros and cons to sending siblings to the same camp. MISSING HOME Gail Shepard, of Wrentham, is mother to Erin, 15, and Melissa, 12. She sent her daughters to the same overnight camp three years ago, because it was Melissa's first camp experience. "Although they were studying different things," she said, "they did get to see each other at whole camp activities and I think this helped Melissa." At Camp Woodhaven, in West Boylston, Business Manager Paula DeTellis said almost 75% of campers have a sibling enrolled at the same time; something she believes is beneficial to both campers and the camp atmosphere. "I have seen older siblings buy snacks for their younger siblings, help them find lost articles, and lead them by the hand to the car line for pickup." She has found that siblings help build camaraderie between the different age groups. If sending a sibling to the same camp is not an option, some parents try to find out if a friend might be attending the same program. A child with a sibling or friend at camp can still feel homesick, but a familiar face is always comforting. Finally, check to see what the camp policy is for dealing with homesick campers. Most are prepared for such situations, notifying parents and getting the campers more involved in activities. APPLES AND ORANGES But what if one child is a sports fanatic while the other prefers to write programs for computer software? Dr. Chris Thurber, co-author of The Summer Handbook and board member of the American Camp Association, said, "If children express a strong desire to have their own camp experience, apart from a sibling, I recommend that parents explore different camp options." This can be especially true in situations where one child's accomplishments often overshadow those of another child. Debbie Rhines, of Plainville, is mom to Jeremy, 8, Ian, 6, and Reid, 4. She plans to send each boy to his own camp program this year. Although Ian wants to be in the same program with his older brother, Debbie doesn't feel this is a good idea. "My goal with Ian is to build his confidence," she said, "and putting him in a camp where he will be the youngest and judged by Jeremy is not a recipe for success." Dr. Thurber would agree this may be the best choice. "Sometimes the burgeoning independence that arises from a wonderful camp program is more powerful when the child feels ownership over the experience. Having a camp that each sibling can call his own is a nice thing." When sibling interests are similar, one summer camp program is often enough to cater to the individual interests of each child. Most camp programs offer a variety of activities and often group campers according to age. In addition to interest, specific needs should be considered as well. There are camps for children living with attention deficit disorder, cancer, spina bifida, and other special needs. Some welcome siblings, while others encourage separation during that time. WHAT'S IN THE BUDGET? Finances can also play a part in the decision to send sibling to the same camp. Michael Currence, Director of Emagination Computer Camps in Waltham, said, "We offer a sibling discount, so there is a cost savings for families who send more than one child to our camp." Many camps offer such discounts. And although fuel costs were not included in past summer budgets, rising gas prices are causing most families to reevaluate the need for multiple commutes. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE, TOO! And last, but certainly not least, how will parents fare? Sending children to separate summer camps means more commuting time and less time spent as a family, but it can also mean an extended "vacation" from sibling rivalry. One child away at a time also means more time for parents to relate with the remaining sibling(s) - a time for special activities that might not otherwise be enjoyed together. And let us not forget the spouse. Because Erin and Melissa are older now and each has her own interests, Gail Shepard said each will be attending her own camp from now on, and at different times. She lamented about the one thing she will miss - "No time to get away with my husband!" Donna Morin Miller is a Massachusetts-based freelance writer. 3 Things to Consider Before Sending Siblings to Camp   1. How is the camp structured? Will there be opportunities for siblings to see each other? Are the programs varied enough to satisfy the needs and interests of each child? 2. What is the camp policy? How do counselors deal with homesickness? Is there a financial benefit when more than one sibling attends? 3. What are your family's needs? Is one child a first-time camper? Will siblings perform better in the same program or through having their own camp experience? How manageable is the commute and can multiple commutes fit into the family budget? Activities to Get Children Excited About Summer Camp   • Animal Tracking: Which animal left those tracks in the snow or mud? In what direction was it moving? • Mystery Bird Descriptions: Have a child look at a picture of a bird and write a description. Then have siblings try to guess which bird is being described. • Weather Watchers: Use a rain gauge to measure rainfall amounts; use a wind sock to observe which direction the wind is blowing. • Follow a Brook: Where does it start? Does it flow faster in some places? Discuss the water cycle. • Nature Journaling: Go on a winter hike and bring journals to record drawings of trees, birds, bugs, scat, or whatever you might find on the way. Collect unusual sticks, leaves, or pebbles to glue into the journal upon arriving back home.