Coming TWEENTOTEEN Coming of Age Rituals BY leslie castillo Tami Bloomstein reflected upon her son's Bar Mitzvah with pride. She said she could almost see him growing up before her eyes at his  ceremony at the Temple Am in Framingham. It was important to Zachary to do well. He spent his summer studying with his tutor and practicing his chants on tape. In the end, it was Zachary himself who wound up most amazed by his own accomplishments when he stood before family and friends and read his portion of the Torah on September 9, 2006. Like others in his family before him, Zachary became a Bar Mitzvah that day, a son of the commandments, representing his coming of age in the Jewish community. For thousand of years, coming of age rituals haven take place around the globe. In Ancient Rome, boys age 14 to 16, donned the toga virlis, or toga of manhood in place of the boyhood toga praetexta and with this garment, went forth into society and were recognized as men. Today, coming of age observances are practiced by people of all cultures and religious backgrounds, and mark the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Three traditional coming of age ceremonies include Quinceañera, Bar Mitzvahs, and Sweet 16 parties, events where loved ones gather to celebrate and to bear witness to a child's journey into growing up. Quinceañeras Quinceañeras are 15th birthday parties that celebrate a girl crossing the threshold into womanhood (nina a mujer, girl to woman). Used to refer to both the party and the birthday girl herself, Quinceañeras are based on an 18th Century Spanish custom of throwing a party to introduce a young woman into society. Thus, although Quinceañeras did not take place in Spain, Spain's debutant-like balls served as an exemplar for other countries that added ideas to create these elaborate age 15 birthday parties. Quinceañeras are celebrated in Guatemala, Bolivia, Puerto Rico, and Mexico, and customs vary slightly from country to country. In Massachusetts, those with cultural ties to those countries continue the tradition. For example, both Guatemala and Bolivia hand out dolls resembling the birthday girl as party favors for all guests. The quince in Puerto Rico wears a white dress, while a dress with a blush of pink is worn in Mexico. Nevertheless, all include dancing, formal attire, attendants (las damas y los chambelanes), homemade favors (recuerdos), and a ceremony where the young woman is adorned with a tiara and changes from flats to heels before dancing with her father. While a mass is an important part of the ceremony in some areas the Vatican has recently begun backing away from involvement with the Quinceañera ceremony, as no sacrament is involved. Kaitlyn Vallejos, 15, of Waltham, celebrated her quince six months ago at the Sons of Italy Hall in Watertown. Kaitlyn remembered feeling particularly happy and excited that day and thinking the event turned out even better than she had hoped. "My favorite part of the celebration was when they put all of the jewelry on me which is a tradition," she said. A crown, earrings, necklace, bracelet, and a ring, which is especially important, symbolize a girl turning into a young lady. Vallejos, dressed in long beige dress, enjoyed dancing, sampling a menu featuring carne guizada, arroz, pasta, chips, and cake and visiting with friends. She was happy to take part in this ceremony, which is a tradition among the women in her family. At the end of the party, she danced with her father and changed from her flats to high heels, another ritual symbolizing her transition from girlhood to womanhood. "I felt a joy inside of my heart that was difficult to explain, and I was happy to make my daughter's dream come true," said mom Linda Vallejos, Bar Mitzvahs Bar Mitzvahs (age 13), or Bat Mitzvahs for girls (age 12), mark the youths coming of age in the Jewish religion. Andrea Lewis, 14, of Waltham celebrated her Bat Mitzvah last year with her mom, brother, and everyone on her dad's side of the family. "The Bat Mitzvah prepares for months to learn her Torah and when the day comes, she reads her Torah section in front of the congregation and become a Bat Mitzvah," Lewis said. About 100 guests were invited to the Bat Mitzvah and Lewis viewed the day as a huge success. Her favorite part was the party, which was held at Health Point, because she got to see a lot of people she hadn't seen in awhile. Describing how she felt after her Bat Mitzvah Lewis said," At first I didn't feel very different, but then I realized that I felt older and that I had accomplished something very good; I was proud of myself." Both Andrea Lewis and Zachary Bloomstein worked diligently. As explained in Zachary's ceremony program, "Reading the Torah is difficult because there are no vowels or punctuation marks. It involves a system of notes and melodies, handed down from generations." For both young adults, the ceremony marked a culmination of years of religious education. Other events that took place for Zachary, a fourth generation member of Temple Beth Am, included wearing the tallit (prayer shawl) for the first time which was purchased for him in Israel when he was one year old by his late great grandmother, thanking and remembering family members who helped make the day possible though Aliyahs, and a catered luncheon that followed at the Temple. Sweet 16 Parties In 2006, Breanna Arsenault of Waltham, together with a friend, planned a combined sweet 16 birthday party. While sweet 16 parties were not traditions in either girl's family, the two thought it sounded like a fun idea. Their party incorporated traditional sweet 16 events such as a disc jockey, dancing, eating, and singing "Happy Birthday," but had an exciting twist to some of the more traditional sweet 16 themes - a costume party. They came up with this idea since the party's was held in October, a month falling between both of their birthdays. Their moms serve as judges in a best costume contest. Arsenalt was sad when the party ended. "When the lights came on everyone was so sad an audible "awwww"was heard. It really assured me that everyone had fun. My family thought the party turned out great and was impressed by how everything went along so smoothly," she said. Ready for the next rite of passage, Arsenault added, "And now we (my family and I) can't wait until my graduation party!" In every family, a coming of age party, no matter the family, nor the customs, one theme resonates clearly: both generations, parent and child, together, rejoiced, experienced tremendous pride, and marveled in the milestones of their lives. Leslie Castillo is a Massachusetts-based freelance writer.