BABYGUIDE • WORKINGMOM Breaking the News to your Boss

BABYGUIDE • WORKINGMOM Breaking the News to your Boss BY lisa littlewood

While the news of pregnancy is exciting, the fear of telling your boss may be growing as quickly as the baby in your belly.

Before you get too nervous, remember many women has done this before and as more women begin to find ways to balance both career and motherhood, increasingly workplaces are finding creative ways to accommodate these new moms' needs.

When Amy Gershman, an associate editor at Bedford St. Martins publishing company in Boston, became pregnant early last summer with her first child she began thinking about when and how she would tell her boss. After doing research, discussions with her husband, and conversations with other moms, Gershman constructed a tentative plan. At the end of her first trimester, she approached her boss, plan in hand, and wound up pleasantly surprised by how easy the conversation actually was.

"I think I was more nervous than I needed to be," said Gershman. "I had my ideal situation already worked out on paper. [My boss] didn't even flinch. She got up and gave me a big hug and said congratulations. I told her that I planned on coming back after giving birth and asked her to let me know what I needed to do along the way to make things easier."

Gershman and her boss worked out a plan, which included keeping a status report on the company's server documenting all of her current projects. The status report, as well as ongoing communication, offered both she and her boss some reassurance that even if the baby did come early they would have a means of transitioning her projects to someone else. They also discussed a potential flexible work schedules for her return after maternity leave, which could include a day or two of working from home.

While your own work situation may not play out in quite the same way - much of it depends on your company's policies and your manager's personality - there are things you can do to make the transition from work to mom and mom back to work easier.

1. Timing is Everything

Even though you may be eager to tell everyone you know about the baby on the way, the workplace may be the one environment where it is advisable not to spread the news. Your boss should be the first person you tell, once you are ready to share the news. You don't want another employee telling your boss first.

Most career and human resource experts agree it is smart to wait until the end of your first trimester to tell your boss about the pregnancy. From a medical perspective the chance of miscarriage decreases significantly after the first trimester.

There are also professional reasons to wait. Gail Liebhaber, a career counselor with a private practice in Lexington and who also works in career placement at Harvard Divinity School said there are a couple of questions to ask as you decide on a good time to tell your boss.

"Ask yourself how supportive your boss is and what is going on at your job? Perhaps you could tell them after you finish a great project. By doing this you are showing them that even though you are pregnant you can still do fabulous work," she said.

Roberta Chinsky Matuson, president of the Brookline-based Human Resource Solutions and a former career expert for www.Monster.com agreed.

"You really want to wait," she said, "The minute you tell your boss you are automatically put into a different category. You are going to be put into that hold category until you prove yourself otherwise."

2. Do Your Homework

As soon as you find out you are pregnant (and even beforehand if you are planning a pregnancy) do research into the policies and laws that impact how much maternity leave you will be rewarded, whether your employer is required to hold your job for you while you are gone, and what types of flexibility might there be with your hours once you return.

Talk to friends and other moms who have returned to work to find out what types of schedules they have worked out - this will give you ideas for your own situation.

Robin Lucier, a human resource director at a Massachusetts-based company with more than 200 employees said employees should always check with the human resources department to review maternity leave and family medical leave policies. Polices differ greatly from company to company. While most companies do not offer paid maternity leave they will allow you to use your accrued sick and vacation time in conjunction with what they are allowing for maternity leave.

3. Create A Plan

With research completed, talk with your husband or partner about your family's needs and desires. It is a good idea to create a plan together.

"Come to the meeting armed with all of the answers to questions that might be going through your boss's head when you tell him/her the good news," said Lucier. "One of the biggest questions will be how will the work get done? If you come armed with an action plan (not that you have to, but it shows concern for you boss and the company) this gives the boss some space to relax with the news. … Anticipate any work that will need to be completed in your absence - make a list of tasks. … Dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's before the leave begins is helpful."

During that meeting, your boss will be wondering if you are planning on returning to work after the baby is born. Gail Leibhaber recommends leaving the door as open as possible. "It is smart to leave that option open because it is hard to predict," she said.

4. Get Personal With Your Boss

While this may sound like common sense, it is always best to have the conversation with your boss in person - not phone or e-mail.

While it might feel easier to send an email, it is unprofessional and should be avoided.

With your plan in hand, have as open and honest a conversation with your boss.

5. Be Flexible

We all know the best laid plans don't always proceed as intended. Gershman, the associate editor at Bedford St. Martins, originally worked out a plan to work three long days in the office, with two days off. She said catching a 6:40 commuter train has been much more challenging than imagined and has since re-examined her schedule.

"The most unexpected challenge has been finding a daily routine that works," she said. It's been more than three months and we're still trying to iron it all out! You don't know until you do it. Before you commit to anything, see if you can wait to find the routine that will work best once the baby arrives. I was unrealistic and didn't know what it was going to be like."

Our experts agreed there is no way to predict what life is going to be like with a new baby.

So what is the remedy for such uncertainty?

Do as much as you can ahead of time, expect the unexpected, know that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do this.

"Whatever decision you make you need to be comfortable with. Don't look at your friends and say 'I should have done it that way'. It's personal and you have to decide," concluded Mautuson.

Freelance writer Lisa Littlewood resides in Whitinsville with her husband Scott and their daughter Ava.

Tips on Planning Leave and Returning to Work

 

Maternity leave policies vary greatly from company to company, so be sure to get a copy of your employee handbook and to check in with your human resources department. Talk to other moms at your own company and at other companies to find out how much time they took off and what types of creative work schedules they were able to put in place upon returning to work.

Primer on the Family Medical Leave Act

 

What is it?

Enacted in 1993, the Family Medical Leave Act allows employees (mothers and fathers) to take time off of work for the birth or adoption of a child while guaranteeing both your job and your benefits when you return. It also allows time off for serious medical reasons or to take care of a child or a spouse with a serious medical condition.

How much time does it allow?

The Act allows 12 weeks of unpaid leave from your current position. The 12 weeks is in addition to any accrued sick or vacation time that you employer allows you to use.

Who is eligible?

Any employee who has worked for a company for more than a year and for a certain number of hours within that year is eligible.

Are all companies required to abide by the Act?

No. Companies with less than 50 employees are not required to offer such leave.

To read more about the Federal Act, visit the Department of Labor's Web site at http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/