FAMILYPETGUIDE

FAMILYPETGUIDE
IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR A PET?
BY marguerite paolino 

Ideally, a pet can be a guide to learning empathy and gentleness, a dependent that inspires responsibility, a non-judgmental companion, and maybe even a source of unconditional love.

"Having a pet is a very worthwhile experience for a child, mostly from an emotional point of view," said Michelle Tate, a Holliston mom who lives with her three children, two Jack Russell terriers, aquatic frogs, and two tanks of fish. "It develops emotional bonds and teaches them to love others. Children are naturally selfish, and this teaches them to be giving."

Yet, while many children have great relationships with their pets - be they scaly, feathery, or furry - it's not always easy for a family to find a pet that is a good match for them. Choices can be limited by the expense of the animal, its health care, and its daily upkeep. Allergy issues, space considerations, and time limitations can also complicate the decision.

"If you're acquiring a pet, especially one with a long life, make sure you can commit to taking care of it," said Dr. Wayne Rocheleau, a veterinarian at Abbott Animal Hospital in Worcester. "If your daily schedule includes soccer, baseball, and dance class, is there going to be enough time in your schedule to care for a pet? The biggest problem I've seen is people who get a puppy and don't have the time to adequately socialize it."

DEALING WITH MISMATCHES

Regardless of the type of pet and the initial excitement surrounding its entrance into the family, it might not seem as interesting and fun once children get used to having it. For a social animal, the lack of attention can be difficult. But some animals might enjoy a little quiet - sometimes children antagonize their pets with nothing more than their natural exuberance.

Beth Testa's two Chihuahuas, for example, avoid her two daughters, ages 3 and 6, as much as possible. Testa got the dogs first, not thinking about how the breed might mix with children who might arrive later. She doesn't recommend Chihuahuas for people with families - and neither do the experts.

"Because my dogs are so tiny, my kids aren't very nice to them. They don't know how to be gentle enough yet," said the Milford resident. "They think they're more like toys than pets. So the dogs try to stay away from the kids."

George LeFrancois has a similar situation in his household, due to the two Siberian huskies that predate the arrival of his children.

"They're beautiful, nice dogs, but they don't like to play," said the Uxbridge resident, adding that they're just too big for his children to manage. "Our tiger cat Abby is the favorite pet. It's the cat that's a lot more like what you'd imagine a dog would be."

LeFrancois's two sons, Solomon, 7, and Sam, 5, built a backyard playground for Abby. A series of ramps and ropes, "Kitty City" gives the boys a chance to take their cat outside to play without risking her getting loose on their busy street.

"They're learning how to care for an animal," LeFrancois said. "It teaches them to be tender and gentle.

"She's very nice to have snuggle time with," added Sam.

THOUGHT-OUT DECISION

While it's easy to get swept away by the charms of a potential pet, families who choose an animal to match their lifestyle tend to have more success in the long run.

"The biggest mistake parents can make is an impulse purchase or acquisition of a pet - I would include in this giving a child the pet as a gift without first consulting with him or her," said veterinarian Steve Rowell, Director of the Foster Hospital for Small Animals and the Large Animal Hospital at the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University in Grafton. "No one should impose a pet on anyone else without consent. This makes for a lot of unwanted pets, and it's a tragedy."

Taking into account the ages of the children in the home can be a good first step. According to a 2003 article in American Behavioral Scientist, 2- to 3-yearolds are more likely to exhibit behaviors like hitting, poking, and grabbing that animals can perceive as aggressive. Three- to 4- year-olds are more likely to simply pet their animals. Five- and 6-year-olds, however, are gentler and display more advanced contact like hugging, stroking, and massaging.

"If an animal has its ears pulled or gets poked a lot or feels like his territory is being invaded, he may lash out," Rowell said, adding that toddlers and preschoolers should be taught how to respect animals. He does not recommend introducing a new pet into a home with a toddler.

An animal doesn't have to be furry to make a good pet; it has to match a family's expectations and ability to provide for it.

"Parents should take into consideration the type of the pet the child is hoping to get, its needs for feeding, cleaning, exercise, and other maintenance, and assess whether the child is emotionally ready for both the responsibility and respect required," Rowell said. "Parents should keep in mind that they'll be introducing another member to the household, and children should be ready and able to respect the animal as such.

When the pet is a puppy or a kitten, parents often like the idea that the child and animal will grow and develop together.

"But the problem with that is you don't know what the personality will be," said Leslie Croci-Reed, Vice President of the Metrowest Humane Society in Ashland. When an older animal is adopted from a shelter, its personality and temperament are known. "We try to match the family to the animal. It's a lifelong commitment to the animal. The pet is going to be part of the family."

CHANGING PRIORITIES

As children get older, they can begin to help with caretaking responsibilities with gradually decreasing amounts of adult supervision. However, experts caution against expecting too much of children's ability, interest-level, and availability.

"It's hard to imagine that a child in grade school or even middle school will be 100 percent reliable when it comes to feeding, walking, or cleaning up after a pet - but with gentle reminders and parental support, they can form a nice bond," said Rowell. "It's reasonable to think that middle school or high school children could clean a litter box regularly or walk a dog responsibly, and this includes cleaning up after it."

Sometimes children's reluctance to care for a pet stems from nervousness rather than an uncooperative streak. Lori Hill's daughter Jenny was about 7 when the family's older cats passed away and three young ones entered their lives. Jenny, now 12, hoped they would bond with her, Hill remembers, but at the time, she was frightened by the kittens' energetic, unpredictable playing and jumping.

"She's not as much of an animal lover as my husband and I are," Hill said. "But she loves the cats."

As a child grows up, the demands of school and extracurricular activities often create a shift in priorities. Yet, Leigh Grady, Executive Director of Animal Shelter, Inc. in Sterling, meets many parents who expect their children to take full care of their pets.

"That sets the kids, parents, and pets up for a total disaster," she said. "There are so many other things kids are involved with, and the novelty of caring for a pet soon wears off. There are also times when the parents want to punish the kids for not taking care of them and threaten to - or do - return the pet to the shelter, which is not fair to anyone involved."

Marguerite Paolino is a Massachusetts-based freelance writer.

Questions To Answer Before Purchasing a Pet

• How much time will you spend caring for your pet?

• Can you provide consistency as you train your pet?

• How much can you afford for an initial investment in the pet, crate or cage, supplies?

• Will your budget absorb day-to-day costs like food, as well as routine and emergency health care?

• Who will care for the pet when you're away?

• Are you willing to care for the pet if your child loses interest or becomes busy with school?

• What is the lifespan of the pet you're considering? Are you ready for a commitment of that length?

• How much space do you have for the pet? A dog needs more space than a cat; a hamster less than a rabbit.

• Will noise be a problem for you or your neighbors?

• Are pets allowed in your apartment?

• Is your yard fenced in?