EDITOR'SNOTE

All We Need Is Just A Little Patience...

nancy macdonald - Guns & Roses

I want two days to myself - with no demands, no requests, no appointments, and no questions needing to be answered, that are always "IMPORTANT!"

Okay, I've begun sounding like my mother, somewhat.

She always says she needs "2 More Days."

For her, it is two more days to do Christmas shopping, two more days without a snow storm, etc. Several times, she has said when she dies, we should put on her headstone - "She Wanted Just 2 More Days!"

For her, it is time.

For me, it is a NEED not to be needed.

Okay, it is time I crave - 48 hours to be exact - but time where no one asks me stupid questions or wants me to do something, they could do for themselves.

You would think I'm being unrealistic as I have a first grade daughter; but honestly, she would probably NOT be the first to break my 48 hours of "my time."

There are times, she wants me to drop everything to play "Groovy Girl Brownie Scouts" with her; or right when dinner is coming out of the oven, she has to know where her - you fill-in-the-blank - book is; but if I tell her mom has to work or momma is busy, she understands.

The more I think about my day-today existence, it is the adults who don't understand that my time is just as important as their time.

It is adults who can't comprehend how to do something themselves or lack the patience to realize that other people have things to do that may be more important than their question. (After this appears in print, I may get the 48 hours I crave, as I likely will alienate a few friends, family, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love to hear from my friends and family, but ...)

Take (fill-in-the-blank) who calls and no matter when she calls or what she calls for, it is "important" or better yet "urgent I return the call immediately."

Why I'm returning the call? Well, that's top secret or at least something I don't need know to dial the phone back.

Lessons learned have taught me that 99 out of 100 of these calls, from different people, basically amount to many frivolous questions - the kind, say, a first grader would no better than to say is "important."

What happened to patience? etiquette?

I was taught you call someone and if they don't answer, you leave a message.

For example, "Hi Mom. It's Susan. Can you watch Bella the last Saturday in January? We have a party. Call me and let me know. Thanks."

If I was on the receiving end - again, fill-in-the-blank-whomever calling - the message to me would have been - "Susan, call me! It's important! I need an answer today (Dec. 17) to a question!"

OR, perhaps the message goes like this - "Susan, call me! (from an unnamed person as I should just recognize the voice) I need to talk to you (unnamed topic, too)!"

I understand, the question is important to the person calling; but sometimes I don't think the person calling understands it is okay to wait patiently for an answer. (FYI, Miss Manners says "it is customary to return telephone calls within 24 hours." She doesn't say 24 seconds or even, 24 minutes!)

Patience truly is a virtue; and a gift we can bestow upon our children (or at least try to). Parenting 1-2- 3 columnist Dr. Robyn Silverman explains why children need to learn the lessons of patience (adults may want to re-educate themselves on these, too). She offers eight ways to teach patience beginning on page 15.

Children need to learn the world does not revolve around them - that while a question or an issue may be #1 on their list, it may not be #1 on someone else's list.

After all, "Life is all about waiting!" (I'm starting to sound like my mom, again. Mom: That's a good thing.) She always tells us, "Life is About Waiting - waiting in lines at the supermarket, waiting for vacation, waiting for that purse to go on sale, waiting for the phone to ring, even, waiting for an answer..."

I tell my daughter that lesson, often.

Maybe, it's time I should tell the adults, too!

Have a Happy & Healthy 2008!

Susan Scully Petroni Editor@baystateparent.com