Singing Over Spilt Milk

BY robin burke photos BY jeffrey w. boudreau

Fatherhood, can be a rollercoaster of a ride. Through all the challenges and joys - from missing sleep to potty-training, to spelling out words in front of the kids, to the sweet things they say, to rekindling couple time - the POP Stars, seven dads from MetroWest Massachusetts, are providing musical therapy and giving support to parents everywhere.

John Marczewski on keyboard Inspired by their own experiences, the folk-rock-jug-style band, formed last fall and performing only since January, is gaining popularity rather quickly thanks to local and national media coverage, and their family-friendly shows, including those at Foxboro's Orpheum Theater, George's Island, and Mamapalooza in New York City.

"The parents who attend the show have enjoyed the lyrics and loved how they tap into the experiences they are having as parents," said John Powers, POP Stars vocalist. "They also love the upbeat, feelgood sound that we have. People enjoy the fact that they can bring their kids to a show and watch them dance around and have a good time. At the same time, the parents can listen to the lyrics of the songs, laugh out loud, and feel good about being a parent, and at the fact that these songs are letting them know that we're all going through the same thing, so let's have a good time and enjoy it while we can."

Tim Neves on harmonica The quick success has been a pleasant surprise.

"It's been an unbelievable ride so far and we've only just begun," Powers said.

The POP Stars history dates back a couple years when the Holliston Public Library asked Powers, a local musician, to perform.

"I had just written a song called I Miss Sleep about the little things we sacrifice when becoming parents: sleep, expletives, our first name, talking on the phone. I thought that it would be fun performing for parents about the children they have," Powers said. "The library loved this idea and booked the gig."

Powers wrote 15 more songs about parenthood, did the gig, and was a hit.

"I spent about a year or so recording the songs. ... when it was done, I tried to think of a good way of presenting these songs to the world of parents," he said. "I decided what better way of singing songs about parenthood than a bunch of parents singing them? I thought since I am a dad myself, a group of dads would be a good idea. I thought of who I knew in town and realized a bunch of friends I knew were musicians. I rang them up and they all got on board."

Lead vocalist/guitarist John Powers Today, the POP Stars (POP being a humorous pun for dad) are: Holliston residents Powers (vocals/acoustic guitarist, guidance counselor, two children); Ira Kittrell (mandolin/harpist/kazoo, speech language teacher in the Milford Public Schools, private practice and assistant camp director, two children); Tom Farrell (bassist, owner of the Coffee Haven coffee shop, father of two); John Marczewski (keyboardist, electrical engineer, two children); Tibor Nemeth (rhythm guitarist, photographer, two children); and Natick residents David Ripp (drummer, social worker, two children) and Tim Neves (harmonica, mechanic, one child).

Between work and being husbands and fathers, the men, all of whom have a variety of music and performance backgrounds, rehearse on Tuesday nights at Powers' house and talk "shop."

Dave Ripp on drums With children growing and changing, and new experiences, feelings, elations and frustrations popping up frequently, the creative juices never dry, Powers said.

"We actually have a backlog of topics that we are hoping to get to in our songwriting sessions," he said. "Things come up all the time during rehearsal. Rehearsal is actually a dad support group. We talk about things and share things and usually someone will say 'that's a good idea for a song.' It's a topic that keeps on giving."

"Anything can become a song," Kittrell said. "Two of us have children in the tween or mid-elementary years, and some have babies. The concept of what is great or difficult about being a parent changes with personal as well as shared experience...therefore, topics will alter as our kids get older. Getting pooped on will alter to 'your bedroom is a mess' and concerns will certainly shift to 'oh no- my daughter wants to go on a date.'"

Tom Farrell on bass Most of the songs are light-hearted and funny, Powers said. Among them is Spelling Errors, a song written about how Powers' mother-in-law would spell the wrong words around his children and how it ended up in disaster, and Spilt Milk, which addresses stress parenting can bring.

The collection also includes Being for the Benefits of Mammary Glands: "They're reliable, dependable, affordable, and portable/You can take them anywhere/ They provide a strong bond and foundation/With love and lactation/If one runs out there's always a spare."

And, Pooped On: "When you get pooped on, puked on, peed on, sneezed on, farted on, snotted on/Everyday and night, especially when you're wearing white/ When you get burped on, slurped on, spilled on, smeared on, wiped on, swiped on/From head to toe, from morning till night/With little effort and all of their might/How about those children? You got to love them."

"I came to the realization that I had been successfully desensitized of anything disgusting after having been covered in every sort of bodily fluid a child can offer," Powers said.

Ira Kittrell on mandolin There are a few songs that are more sensitive, poignant, and expressive.

Only So Many Minutes in a Day deals with balancing the daily demands as an adult and parent, and trying to make it all work, making the most of your time and your children's childhood while it lasts.

"It stresses not to get caught up in the selfish needs we have as individuals and realize there's plenty of time for that later, and to focus on what's really important and what needs the most attention now, and that is our children," Powers said.

The collection also includes the lullaby Baby on the Way and Presents, a song Powers wrote based on something his son said to his wife one night when he was falling asleep.

"After telling him she loved him, my son replied, 'You fill my heart with presents.' And I thought how beautiful is that," Powers said.

"No matter what your background, as a parent, you can relate to all of these songs," Farrell said.

This fall, the group plans to record the CD, Songs from the 'Hood (Parenthood That Is) and will have enough material, actually, for two.

Also, the group is interested in writing holiday songs, from a parent's perspective, of course, sometime next year.

In the meantime, they'll continue to perform, such as this September during Celebrate Holliston.

Although they've heard from parents with small children, seniors have weighed in, also.

"They basically have said that it has reminded them of when they were parents and it was a nice experience for them to be brought back to those days again," Powers said. "I have also received great comments from people who have just been married and are planning to have kids. They have expressed how people have been telling them what it's going to be like as parents and thought it was funny to hear songs about how people tell you what it's going to be like as in the song Your Life as You Know it is Over and We're Trying."

People can expect to be entertained on many levels at a POP Stars performance, Powers said.

"There's seven dads in the band who are really there to bring this music out to parents to say, 'yes, we know what's it's like to be a parent, isn't it hard? Isn't it wonderful?' We know and this is what it's like for us. The music is very positive, and upbeat. The musicianship is fantastic and the dialogue in between songs is very funny because we like to talk about what happened to us as parents that week. We like to share our experiences and talk about them on stage."

What's it like being musicians and dads?

"This is no mid-life crisis and everything but our band/our personal wants go by the wayside," Kittrell said. "Being a dad was a catalyst for this band's existence...being a musician in the POP Stars has enhanced being a dad.

Our families now know each other; we have post-gig parties with everyone involved. Both aspects of our lives our now uniquely joined, it is truly wonderful."

Being in this band and songwriting about fatherhood gives its members an avenue for self-expression, and allows them to change and grow with their kids, Ripp said.

The Pop Stars are role models to their children, not only in their jobs but as people who are individuals capable of originality and expression, he said. As fathers, they "are hands-on, fingers-inthe dirt...kind of guys" and all have a reverence for the parent-child bond, and the emotional life they share with their kids, Ripp said.

"We see our roles as sensitive, sacred, frustrating and fun," he said.

Robin Burke is a Central Massachusettsbased freelance writer.

Contact the POP Stars