Serving up Tolerance 6 Ways to Embrace Diversity & Acceptance in Your Family During This Holiday Season by dr robyn silverman Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa There are so many great holiday celebrations taking place during this time of year but we are often too caught up in our plans to notice what anyone else is doing. But really, we should start to pay close attention. We are being hit in the face with a terrific opportunity to discuss open-mindedness, respect, and acceptance of other people with our very impressionable children. As the character education writer for families, as well as many afterschool, martial arts, and gymnastics programs around the world, I marvel about the letters I get from parents during this time of year. Several Moms and Dads confess that they had never known much about the other holidays celebrated in December - they only knew about their own. One Massachusettsbased parent wrote, "I grew up in a very religious household and was made to think that everyone else was so different. This year is the first time I was actually able to talk to my children about all the similarities there are between the celebrations and how beautiful the differences were. It made a big impact on my daughter but even a bigger impact on me." This time of year should not be about "us" and "them." After all, the holidays are about embracing other people and enjoying what makes us all special, aren't they? Here are 6 ways to embrace diversity and acceptance in your family during the holiday season: 1. Take a look at your own hang ups and prejudices: It is easy to lump whole groups together based on what you see in the media. Logically, we know that several cultures are not always portrayed in the best light on the evening news. However, we may still make general judgments about certain groups of people. Media is not the only culprit. Prejudice can come from life experiences, however insignificant they might seem now. For example, you might Holden Martial have a distrust of an entire group of people because one girl from that culture stole your apple juice when you were in third grade. It is time to let go. When we hold on to our hang ups, they are picked up by our children ... even if you never say a word about how you feel. 2. Discuss tolerance and acceptance with your children regularly: If this world is really a "melting pot" of people, we need to talk about the different types of people who are in it. We might not always agree, but we must respect other people and their right to choose. Use the media to discuss how negative stereotypes perpetuate prejudice and that everything you see and read is not true. Let your children know that your family is one that embraces other cultures and welcomes individuals into your lives, based on strength of character rather than on cultural characteristics. 3. Expose your children to different types of people and cultures: This is a fabulous time of year to share in the celebrations of other cultures. Why not attend a celebration near you? Why not learn about another culture from the books in the local library? There are numerous children's books that demonstrate the different holidays, different cultures, and even children with different abilities and disabilities. Beyond books, you can listen to music from different cultures, learn native dances, or eat the foods that are specific to that culture. When you show your children that learning about these holidays and different people can be fun, they will want to learn more. Knowledge, of course, breeds understanding and tolerance. 4. Encourage empathy and respect: What would it feel like to be teased or ostracized because of what you looked like or what you chose to celebrate? Talk to your children about "taking a walk in other people's shoes." Through empathy training, they can begin to understand what it would be like to feel "different" in a room of people who do not embrace diversity. Ask powerful questions like, "How do you think you would feel?" "Would that feel fair to you?" Let your child know that in your family, you practice The Golden Rule, and always treat others the way you want to be treated. 5. Promote friendships and relationships with people of different cultures: While your own neighborhood might be homogeneous, join activities that allow your family to get to know people from different backgrounds and cultures. A great deal can be learned from simple, informal conversations. Sometimes, our children simply learn that people are not so different after all. Martial Arts December 6. Model curiosity, tolerance, and openmindedness: If you demonstrate acceptance of others, character-based friendships, and The Golden Rule, children will often follow your lead. After all, think about where a lot of our prejudices come from - our families! Children are very sensitive to their parents. If a mother feels uncomfortable around people from a certain culture, her child will likely pick up on this and respond similarly. It is up to us to show our children what it means to have an open mind and to use an open mind. You can model this behavior while trying new things, meeting new people, and embracing new ideas. Yes, December is certainly a busy time of year. We have presents to wrap and feasts to prepare. But perhaps if we stop long enough, we might just learn something new about other cultures and teach our children about acceptance of others in the process. That, of course, is a holiday gift that will last a lifetime.