ADOPTIONINSIGHTS

SEOUL CONNECTION
Korean Culture Camp Bridges Birth & Adoptive Cultures

Adoption is increasing in the United States, and "chosen" families are finding ways to strengthen their children's experience with their birth culture. Families are also working to help adopted children find friendships with other children from similar backgrounds and experiences. Earlier this spring, a Korean Culture Camp was held at Marlborough High for just such families.

"International adoptions started after the Korean War. Korea was the first international country to support adoption outside of the country. The first adoptable children were "out of wedlock" (children) of Korean and American parents [when American GI's were in the country for the Korean War], and those children are now middle-aged," said Vicki Peterson, social worker and Director of Wide Horizons for Children.

"The Republic of Korea government (South Korea) has done an amazing job at organizing adoptions ethically. There is no black market. The government takes the responsibility that all children will be taken care of before they are adopted, and they are placed in well supported foster care or orphanages," said Peterson.

At the Korean Camp, children and parents spent the day meeting each other, playing, making things, listening to speakers, and learning more about Korea & and its culture.

Parents and their children heard from two Korean foster parents, Keum-soon Kim and Deok-yung Lee, both who described decades of caring for babies before they left to adoptive homes. They also heard from Hee-jeong Seo, who was a birth parent counselor for the Holt Adoption (in Korea) from the early years. She shared the changes in adoption over the years in Korea to attendees.

This early piece of each child's adoption story is an emotional link between the birth and adoptive families.

When Kim Stevens, director of Raising Children's Voices and an adoptive parent with multi-racial children from this country, was asked what she most wished could change in the world of the adopted child, she answered, "I wish for them that they would not have to go through life, especially childhood, feeling 'different.' It can be a very lonely and confusing and lonely feeling for a child."

There are many agencies, groups, Web sites, books, and support networks now to address those differences and to support the children and families.

"My child has attended WHFC Korean Culture Camp for many years and he has come home with so much information about his heritage. He is very proud to be Korean, and the camp reinforces his positive feelings," said mom Beverly DellaValle of Pembroke.

"I had revelations regarding [my son's] needing to see people who look like him in positions of authority and responsibility," said mom Carey Lambert of Newburyport.

Other parents used the camp to discuss issues with social workers and explain the difficulties of their own situations.

Social workers and psychologists helped parents understand what was going on with these questions and how to help their children with them.

Why Adopt From Korea?

The stigma of being a single mother in Korea is culturally unacceptable, which is why children can be adopted. The single mother's pregnancy often is never mentioned and after giving birth, the woman proceeds to make her way in life, without revealing this child to her next family.

Lately, Korea, like many other countries, is ambivalent about sending "its own" out of the country for adoption, and is taking steps to encourage adoption inside the country. But with cultural and religious beliefs emphasizing blood ties as essential, barriers to adoption remain.

Roberta Rosenberg, who adopted a Korean child (visit www.adoptkorea.com to read her story), said she and her husband found the Korean program appealing over other programs for the following reasons:

- Availability of healthy infants and toddlers. Mostly healthy children are available or children with "mild or easily correctable special needs." 
- Foster care is in a loving home until placement. 
- Medical care in Korea is "comparable to U.S. and Canada." 
- Reasonable timeframes, "about 12-14 months from time of application to arrival of our baby." 
- Costs may be lower $18,000 to $24,000. 
- Travel or escort options, means you can chose to go get your new child in Korea or have them escorted back to the U.S. 
- No religious restrictions or infertility requirements.

Each country sets its own laws for adopting. Korean Requirements and Restrictions include:
Marital Status: Couples married at least 3 years. Singles parents are not acceptable.
Age: Minimum age of 25 and maximum age of 45, at the time of the baby's arrival. The couple should not have an age difference of more than 15 years.
Infertility: No restriction.
Family size: No more than 4 children.
Income: Higher than the national average annual income.

Carole Ferguson is a pediatric nurse practitioner and journalist living in Lexington.